One of the Top Ways We Gaslight Ourselves in Healing Work
I can’t tell you how many times someone has come to work with me in the hopes of learning “how to better manage their emotions.” This expectation makes so much sense in a colonized capitalist culture where there is a multi-generational paradigm that has taught us to relate to Life from a place of control and ‘power over’. It even permeates healing and wellness culture - countless self-help books teach us that being well is all about developing more discipline and self-control. In this fast-paced information age people LOVE ‘tips and tricks and trends’ to practice managing their felt experience: mindset work, biohacking, exercise regimens, etc etc. If only we can control our thoughts, then we can affirm our way into joy and manifest all that we desire; if only we can control our breath then we will learn to relax; if only we can exercise enough then we will keep our anxiety at bay. And then when those results don’t happen from our efforts, we gaslight ourselves into thinking there is something wrong with us, that we’re broken or stupid or incapable. But you’re not. It isn’t you that’s the problem. It’s the paradigm that we are taught to relate to ourselves from that sets us up to feel like we’re failing.
Now, I’m not saying that all those practices are bad — they are actually important. But when those practices are motivated by a need to control, what usually happens is we become harsh and critical towards whatever we don’t want to feel; in other words, we continue to unconsciously reject and run from what is uncomfortable or painful. And as we know, we can’t actually heal what we are unwilling to look at.
We don’t get free from the bondage of our pain by learning how to control it. We get free by learning how to feel it, how to be with it. This is a simple request, but rarely easy. And this is the essence of somatic work. If you’re keen to experience a greater sense of inner freedom so that you can live the life you long for, and you’ve been feeling called to somatic work, then I have a new offering that may be for you:
Creating Coherence is a 3-6 month (your choice) intensive 1:1 somatic coaching program that helps you heal your nervous system, embody your highest values & boldest vision, and bring your much needed gifts into this world without sacrificing your well-being.
We aren’t about quick fixes here because we know the truth is that somatic transformation takes time. The embodied patterns that shape you are deeply rooted and long-held, and the ones you wish to change require patient practice, consistency, and care in order to be repaired and repatterned. That’s where I come in as your somatic guide and accountability ally.
You will receive:
A day of guided written reflection to submit to me and to support you in clarifying your intentions and vision
Two 90-minute 1:1 sessions per month where we deep dive into your longings and how to cultivate the embodied ways of being that help you move towards your vision
Individualized nervous system support (none of that “take a walk, take deep breaths, blah blah” generic nervous system suggestions) because being stuck in stress/trauma physiology is often at the root of what is blocking us
Access to me through Voxer (a messaging app) Monday-Friday because consistency is key and somatic practice is a way of BEING and we deserve real-time support to optimally integrate the work we are doing
Individualized embodiment rituals to support more easeful creativity and inspiration
A personalized guidebook that I will create for you that is tailored to your specific vision to help you feel organized and clear on your micro and macro goals
If you want to explore the possibility of committing to this program then you can email me at sacredgrounding@gmail.com and we can schedule a brief consultation.